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Labor Day may have come and gone, but summer is digging in her heels hard. We’ve just experienced our first official heat wave of the summer (or meteorological fall). Maybe she’s digging in her sky high, stiletto, red-soled heels because she’s seen some of the horrendous fashion trends threatening to make it into the main stream this fall? If that’s the case, we don’t blame her.

While fall 2015, does have some trends on the horizon that have us longing for brisker weather so we can make the leaf-scattered sidewalks our own personal runway, there are also a number of total and complete fails. We thought we’d have some fashion fun this month, and question what designers and fashion forecasters were thinking with a few of the trends. (We apologize for the sarcasm in advance, but after all, we are New Englanders.)

Don’t worry, the fashion houses got a lot of things right. And, we’ll review those next month. But for now…

10. Granny Glamour

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Er, um. No. Bad Gucci! Bad!

Gucci isn’t the only fashion house guilty of bringing Hallmark’s “Maxine” to life. We say pick one concept from the ensemble, a little brocade, a tweed skirt and it works. Pile them all on at once and you look like you might start complaining about heartburn and the corns on your feet.

9. Opera Length Gloves

Prada

We won’t even address the color palate shown in this ensemble in the Prada 2015 RTW (Ready-to-Wear) Fall Collection. Let’s just focus on those gloves. What the? Is she part Grinch? We’re pretty sure formal length gloves belong either at a formal event or on Carrie Bradshaw. Try these babies out at the next company meeting, and don’t be surprised if people start dropping off Purell on your desk. This look screams germaphobe.

8. Small Neck Warmers

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We love a nice alpaca snood, or cozy cowl neck warmer. But, we seriously question the choice in the Lemaire RTW Fall Collection to highlight “small neck warmers.” Did she shrink her snood? Did her head sweatband fall down to her neck and someone thought it looked cool? No matter what, neck warmers should be comfy. This looks like it might cut off the blood supply to the brain, and that is never a good thing.

As with all of these trends, not the only guilty party, as seen here at Paco Rabanne RTW. This one sort of looks like a dickey or bandage.

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7. Sleeveless Jackets

Sleeveless jacket

These trends are for the fall- right? Fall, as in autumn, when it gets colder? Just checking, because we thought sleeves might be helpful when the cold sets in. But, what do we know, we’re just a couple of haute mamas. 😉

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6. Hardcore Goth

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Please don’t hurt us Goth model from the Alexander Wang RTW Fall 2015 Collection.  Your scowl and black garb has us very afraid. Very afraid indeed.

Unless you want people to fear you, steer clear of the goth trend. Sure, pull out your old Chanel Vamp lipstick. But, please, don’t wear it with greasy hair hanging in front of your face.

5. Rainbow Bright

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Au Jour Le Jour

Wearing color is fun! Just don’t try to emulate Punky Brewster, Jem, or Rainbow Bright. They all eventually got canceled, and if you head into a party looking like this, you might too!

4. Extra Puffy Jackets

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My goodness. We’re pretty sure this picture from the Fendi RTW Fall 2015 Collection says it all. And, if this doesn’t scare you away, maybe this one will:

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When done right, a puffer can be tailored, flattering, and warm. These just make us feel like going and roasting all the Stay Puff Marshmallows we can find.

3. High-Waisted, Wide-Legged Cut Offs

Cropped wide leg High

Hmmm. Where to begin? Let’s try the top-to-bottom approach. While we know a few lovely hauties who can rock the high waisters, they tend to have narrow hips, and even smaller waists. In fact, we’re fairly confident the old standard of high-waisted jeans helped to coin the phrase, “Mom Butt.” Now, we’re not advocating for a low-rider pair of jeans that show your lace skivvies, those bring on an entirely new set of potential disasters. We think a pair of mid-rise jeans do wonders in most cuts. But, with these bad boys, the wide legs and flood length do anything but flatter the normal female form. Please don’t buy these, we beg you.

2. Mucho Faux Fur

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If you are going for a ginger-yeti look, this Stella McCartney ensemble is for you. (Oh, and look, there’s the mini-neck warmer, it really is a headband!) 😉

Seriously, we love the faux fur trend, but a little goes a long way. A nice faux fur collar, or fur cuffed boots. But, head-to-toe? We just can’t approve.

1. Extra Long Sleeves

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We pitty this poor, poor girl from the Copernie Femme Fashion Show. If she doesn’t roll up those sleeves quickly, someone is going to think she’s wack’o and try to tie her into a straight jacket using her own sleeves! Why else would she wear such a ridiculous shirt? Were the tailors on strike? Did a designer catch their 7-year-old playing dress up in her blouses and think, “Yeah, that could work.” Well, as you can see. It doesn’t.

 

This jest was all for fun ladies. As always, we strongly believe, “Wear what makes you feel beautiful!” We’re sure one of you out there can rock the head-to-toe rainbow bright like no one else! We’ll be back next month with our favorite fall trends.

 

Until then, enjoy the last few weeks of summer!

Love,
Jess & Kim 🙂

 

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